Mitt Romney Vets Jimmer for 2012 Ticket

There were 25 scouts on hand to witness the jaw-dropping Jimmer Show at SDSU’s Viejas Arena on Saturday. While 24 of the scouts represented NBA teams interested in evaluating Jimmer’s basketball skills, one scout was interested in vetting the point guard from Glens Falls, NY, for a position that would take him off the court… and into the White House.

Seated among the sea of red and black, Mitt Romney and his son watched Jimmer and the BYU Cougars dominate the #4 SDSU Aztecs. Romney claimed he enjoys watching basketball and supporting his alma mater, but the anticipated 2012 presidential contender likely had different motives for attending this game.

“He wants America to get Jimmered,” an anonymous source said. “Mitt caught Jimmer-fever months ago and he strongly believes that the easiest way to the Oval Office is with Jimmer on his ticket. Jimmer as a VP candidate is a smart move.”

According to political experts, the move isn’t all that surprising. Jimmer boasts an 87 percent approval rating, regularly participates in Congress’ Long Range Artillery and Cross-Over Awareness committees, and is a front runner for the National Player of the Year, Pulitzer Prize (for a book which has yet to be written, but will be awarded preemptively), and honorary knighthood by the UK’s Prime Minister.

“The Jimmer and Romney have already met in private multiple times,” the source confirmed. “Romney knows that Jimmer will be a hot commodity at the end of this season. The last thing Romney wants is to be Jimmered by Obama or another Republican contender. Mitt has even considered conceding the top name on the ticket if it means Jimmer will commit.”

For now, we can watch Jimmer make a deep run through March Madness, but all signs point to Jimmer’s run continuing through November of 2012.

Romney refused to comment on this article.

A Jimmer Rap. . . By UTES?!

TJ Fredette thought he had cornered the Jimmer market with his rap music, but apparently two other rappers want their shot. Definit & Young Slim are their names and The Jimmer is their game. And get this… Young Sim is a Jimmer-loving Ute. Now it’s official… Jimmermania has officially reached every corner of the country now that Ute fans are singing The Jimmer praises in prose.

Some new, clever Jimmerisms worth noting from the lyrics:

• “He’s the real King James, what should I do, just Fredette it.”
• “Nothing comes out when they’re moving their lips, justa, justa, justa-bunch of Jimmerish.”
• “This might sound crazy, can you be a surrogate for my baby.”
• “And I’mma keep it real, best guard in the West… POY man, Jimmer Fredette”

http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_7261320

Jukebox Jimmer

The Jimmerbug has swept through the nation. In honor of the nation’s most interesting and deserving Player of the Year candidate, we bring you the top five songs that are just dying to be Jimmered. Enjoy.

• Gettin’ Jimmer With It – Will Smith & Steve Nash, Dick V, Seth Davis, John Wall, and Band
• Won’t Get Jimmered Again – The Who & AZ Wildcats (who got Jimmered for 82 pts)
• Jimmer B. Goode – Chuck Berry & Kevin Durrant
• You Give Jim A Bad Name – Bon Jovi & Jimmer (to Jim Boeheim of Syracuse for not recruiting him)
• Who Let the Jimmer Out – The Baha Men & Tre’Von Willis

And if you haven’t already heard the Jimmer Jammers, you won’t want to miss their tribute to Jimmer in the critically acclaimed hit, “You’ve Been Jimmered.” Band members include LaVell Edwards, Chad Lewis, Shawn Bradley, and radio DJ Jon Carter.

What other songs merit a Jimmering? Send your suggestions here.

The Bed Intruder Gets Jimmered

You and 71 million others have seen the Ben Intruder. Get ready for the Court Intruder. Lyrics and credits can be found below.

You might recognize the video’s talent from another popular spoof, BYU Library’s “New Spice”. It is far and away the best Old Spice commercial spoof on YouTube, so check it out if you haven’t already.

LYRICS:
He’s drainin’ all his free throws
He’s layin’ the b-ball up
Tryin’ to make it, so ya’ll need to
Tell yer friends, tell yer wife (x 3)
And tell Dickie V cuz he’s averagin’ 28 in here

But your dream’s the NBA draft
We’ll be lookin’ for you
They gon’ sign you, They gon’ sign you

So you can go and chase that, go and chase that, go and chase that
Homeboy, home, home, homeboy

I’ve seen your jumper and your crossover and all
You are so good, you are really good, fo real

You are really really really really so good
Jimmer Fredette breaks ankles with his crossovers

So good, so good, so good, Sooooo

He’s drainin’ all his free throws
He’s layin’ the b-ball up
Tryin’ to make it, so ya’ll need to
Tell yer friends, tell yer wife (x 3)
And tell Dickie V cuz he’s averagin’ 28 in here

But your dream’s the NBA draft
We’ll be lookin’ for you
They gon’ sign you, They gon’ sign you

So you can go and chase that, go and chase that, go and chase that
Homeboy, home, home, homeboy

Special Thanks:
Taylor Rose – Graphics
Scott Stevens and Bryce Cline – BYU Ad Lab
Bill Hoops – BYU Athletic Marketing

Do Not Mess With The Jimmer

Jimmer has quickly become one of the most respected and loved basketball players in the country. In Provo (home to BYU), he is reverenced. He is worshiped. He is idolized.

Apparently there is one BYU student who doesn’t get the hype. In a letter to the editor of the school’s Daily Universe, she wrote:

I can’t walk across campus without hearing Jimmer Fredette’s name a dozen times. His name comes up everywhere: in class, at work, during lunch … really, people? Cut it out with the Jimmer worship. Last time I checked, idol worship was very much frowned upon in the scriptures.

Don’t you have a life to live? Then quit wasting it in front of the TV or in lines at the Marriott Center…

…As far as I’m concerned, Jimmer is perfectly free to live his dreams. If he reaches his goals and lives his dreams, more power to him. I would like the same courtesy from his fans: let me live my own dreams in peace, even if they don’t include ever sitting in the Marriott Center screaming my brains out.

Unfortunately for the Jimmer-unbeliever, she signed the letter with her real name. To make matters worse, she posted a status update to her open Facebook wall a few hours later:

Within a few hours she would come to realize that Jimmer has many loyal Jimmerites. One of his followers posted a link to the original letter on a fan message board. Quickly, the board users found her Facebook profile, then her status update, and The Jimmer floodgates opened.

In one hour, over 250 messages were posted to her wall. In no particular order, here are 10 of the best:

As a poster put it succinctly, this young lady got Jimmered. And thus we learn that thou shalt not mess with The Jimmer.

Update 3: FrontRowFanatics have extended an olive branch to Michelle, the now infamous Jimmer non-believer. Great stuff.

Update 2: As of 5:00pm EST, this story has been reported by the following national sports websites: ESPN, Yahoo, CBS Sports, NBC Sports.

Update 1: After nearly 600 Facebook took their shot on her wall, she closed access to the thread. You can read the thread in its entirety here.